apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
