YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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