Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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