Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Less talking, more tequila
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
