its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I would ride that face into the sunset
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
