My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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