ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
soo... how was my night?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
