We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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