I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize