So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
