But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
