You're completely useless in the revolution.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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