We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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