so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
