He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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