I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
