Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
