I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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