I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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