dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Girls should come with a carfax report
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
