I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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