just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize