I just pynch a tree in the face
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
