no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
