so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
