you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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