At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
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You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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