my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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