apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
