I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
