i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
