i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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