omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
