I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
