Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
