Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
