They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
