hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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