This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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