Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just pee around me
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
