my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Randomize
