There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
