Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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