At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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