its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
