i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize