Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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