whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
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