It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
