I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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