Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
