Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize