She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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