If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
