when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
they need to just BURY HIM!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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