it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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