he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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