I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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