I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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