You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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