Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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