New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize