It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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